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Live from the Philips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: Alberto Del Rio… World Champion: Mark Henry… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Dolph Ziggler… Tag Team Champions: Air Boom… Diva’s Champion: Beth Phoenix
♫ Happy happy, Halloween… ♫ Silver Shamrock! ♫
We get pre-recorded comments from The Rock; he wonders if it could be done. He says John Cena represents a generation and the Rock represents a generation. The Rock’s answer to Cena is “hell, no”. He would rather slap his lips off of his face rather than tag him in. BUT THEN! The Rock received lots of Tweets about how “Team Bring It” despises Awesome Truth, THEREFORE, the Rock is going to give the People what they want and he actually accepts Cena’s invitation. He then tells Miz and R-Truth to bring it. He gets a few digs on Cena’s young fans; Rocky wants Cena to witness, the most electrifying man in the world, kicking asses, which will be a taste of what he does to him at WrestleMania XXVIII. He closes with “Survivor Series… never before, never again, if ya smell what the Rock is cookin’”. 4/10 No one brings it via satellite like the Rock.
CM Punk vs. Mark Henry: If Punk wins he gets his title shot versus Alberto Del Rio at Survivor Series; John Laurinaitis meanders out to confirm that stipulation, pre-match. Henry immediately takes over and pummels Punk in the corner; Punk, in the Halloween spirit, is in orange and black attire highlighted with spider webs. He leaps off the second rope, onto Henry’s back, and elbow the top of his head; Henry shifts Punk on his shoulders and powerslams him. Punk fires back with kicks but Henry launches him to the apron. He cuts off Henry charging in and delivers a springboard clothesline. Punk to the top and hits the Macho Man Elbow, for two; Alberto Del Rio appears at ringside and tells Ricardo Rodriguez to attack Mark Henry drawing the DQ costing CM Punk his title shot. Post-match, Punk angrily topés out onto Del Rio and then attacks Ricardo and then tosses him into the ring where Henry is waiting to provide a World’s Strongest Slam. 5.5/10 Decent match while it lasted; I like the ending; it was devious and shows off Del Rio’s cleverness. It extends anticipation and forces Punk to fight another route to the title.
Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy appear at the top of the stage behind their own little stage; they begin to say how honored they are to be on Raw but they are interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and Jack Swagger. Swagger threatens to turn Kermit into frog’s legs and is craving a ham sandwich, wakka wakka. Miss Piggy gets in Swagger’s face (so to speak); Kermit cools things off and doesn’t want trouble with “Mr. Swagger or his mother”. Vickie takes offense and then she and Miss Piggy get into an EPIC shoving match. Santino Marella interrupts because this COULDN’T possibly get weirder. Santino says that Swagger shouldn’t be threatening any Muppets but should be warming up. He just spoke with “Mr. John Laryngitis” (I wonder if he stole that from Scott Keith) about a match. Swagger grabs Kermit’s mouth to shut him up and says no sweat, he has Dolph Ziggler in his corner; Santino informs them that Ziggler has a match with Zack Ryder tonight. Kermit and Miss Piggy deliver the “woo woo woo, you know it” tagline. Now you know Ryder’s over when he had Kermit the Frog saying his tagline. Now, Kelly Kelly comes out, dressed as a white buccaneer, and kisses Kermit, drawing the ire of Miss Piggy. 7/10 I grew up with the Muppets so I enjoyed this, glad to see Swagger, get the airtime as well. Bitch all you want about the high score, this doesn’t belong on a wrestling show, blah blah blah; I had fun with it and it’s Halloween, not everything has to be serious, it’s good to have a lighthearted show (or segment) once in a while.
Eve Torres, Rosa Mendes, Aksana, AJ Lee, Kaitlin, Kelly Kelly, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox, Natalya & Tamina number one contender, Halloween battle royal: All of the divas are in costume; let’s see we have Eve as Robin (WIN, Batman is my favorite superhero), Rosa as a cavewoman, Aksana as a VERY CHESTY Morticia Adams, AJ Lee is Kitana from Mortal Kombat, Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter, Kelly is a white buccaneer, Alicia Fox is a sailor and the Bella Twins are Mario and Luigi, Natalya is the Queen of Hearts, and Tamina is an Egyptian goddess. Beth Phoenix is on commentary dressed up in a black dress (they never explain who she is supposed to be and the announce table obscures most of her costume). AJ tries to use her giant fans to levitate Tamina over the top. Funny. Natalya ELIMINATES Rosa almost immediately. Luigi Bella ELIMINATES Aksana with an assist from Mario Bella. Tamina superkicks AJ off the apron to ELIMINATE her; Kaitlyn then dropkicks Tamina to the floor ELIMINATING her. The Bellas ELIMINATE Kaitlyn. Kelly and Eve slam the Bellas on top of each other. Eve hits the Bump ‘n’ Grind Moonsault and then Kelly gives them both the Stink Face; they then ELIMINATE both Bella Twins. The three remaining Barbie dolls triple team Natalya. Surprised no one dressed as Barbie in this match. Nattie gets mad and takes out Eve but gets swarmed by the other two; she fends them off and puts Kelly on the apron. Alicia tries to sneak up on Natalya but gets backdropped and ELIMINATED. Nattie, then shoulderblocks Kelly off the apron, thus ELIMINATING her; Eve sneaks up and ELIMINATES Natalya from behind to become the number one contender. The Sisters of Salvation try to overwhelm Eve but Kelly and Alicia are still at ringside, come to her aid. Beth (dressed as a witch) and Nattie back off. 3.5/10 Good effort from the divas; the best part of the match was AJ trying to use Kitana’s Mortal Kombat levitate move to eliminate Tamina.
In his lab, Dr. Bunsen Honeydew and Beaker, work on a Muppet Labs energy drink; Bunsen tells Beaker to get it to Santino Marella immediately. Beaker meeps away but bumps into Christian on his way. Christian steals the drink and pours it all over the floor. Sheamus shows up; Christian leaves. He stares down Beaker (who looks a lot like the Muppet version of Sheamus). It turns out they are related because Sheamus sends his regrets that he cannot attend the family reunion this year. Awesome.
Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes & Wade Barrett: This is peculiar, because each member of the mismatch heel team are in the midst of pushes, so I don’t see this ending clean. Barrett has new trunks which are pewter, and look off, for some reason. Cody and Bourne begin the match; Rhodes gets in a few shots but an Evan kick permits a Kofi tag and Air Boom hit an assisted whip into a second-rope clothesline. I’ll give Air Boom credit; they sure are trying to get their tandem offense in. Kingston hits a pendulum kick in the corner and knocks Barrett down via dropkick on the apron. He then tries a springboard but Cody trips him up. Rhodes drops a Russian leg sweep and tags in Barrett; he hits the spinning Bossman Slam. Barrett applies a chinlock giving Michael Cole a chance to explain the new design on his trunks (kind of an anchor with a “B” on it), a symbol of the Polish uprising in 1944, the symbol represent the Polish reclaiming what is rightfully theirs. Interesting, otherwise people would think it was just a fancy way to interlock a “W” and a “B”. Barrett uses his bare-knuckles to knock Kofi down again. Cody tags in and stamps a mudhole (only one man STOMPS a mudhole) in the corner. Rhodes applies a variant of a chinlock. Barrett tags and stomps on Kofi’s head; the heels work a referee distract/choke in the corner spot. Cody hits some sporadic punches until Kofi monkey flips him right on his ass; Bourne gets a tag and kicks the snot out of Barrett. He tries a hurracanrana; didn’t Bourne watch SmackDown last week (full review, click here) and see what happened to Trent Barreta? I guess he was watching because he counters Wasteland into a DDT. The match breaks down and Cody deposits Kofi onto the floor; Bourne goes up but Rhodes distracts allowing Barrett to snag him off the top and deliver Wasteland for three. Post-match, Christian runs out and attacks Kofi, the three of them overwhelm the downed champions until Sheamus makes the save. He kills Cody with a Brogue Kick. 6.5/10 Very good ending, proving the WWE is behind Barrett and his new push. I like the heel alliance between Christian, Barrett and Rhodes, which has been done recently but forgotten about; I guess they’re relaunching it; which is good for all three parties, since they are not an official stable, just an alliance, which permits them to all have separate pushes with will intertwine.
Statler and Waldorf watch the action from their skybox; Statler “whats” Waldorf while his is trying to complain. Waldorf fires back with, “we’ve gone from Stone Cold to someone who was born in the Stone Age”. Back in his GM office, John Laurinaitis is on his phone as usual; CM Punk enters and asks if he was texting or if he saw the chicanery (my word not Punk’s) that occurred in the opining contest. Punk runs Laurinaitis down, getting as much Dynamic Dudes and ass kisser insults in a fifteen second tirade as he can. Laurinaitis says he has his title match as long as Alberto Del Rio agrees to it; Punk seems to like that decision and leaves.
Clips from Brodus Clay’s matches are shown; he is apparently is “debuting” on Raw next week.
Big Show vs. Alberto Del Rio: No Ricardo Rodriguez with Alberto because he’s dead. Show still sells the back from the ring implosion from Vengeance. Del Rio tries to use speed but quickly gets overwhelmed by Show’s power; he open-handed chops him in the corner and chokes him in the ropes. Del Rio tries to get some kicks in but a head-butt cuts it off. Del Rio kicks him away from his back trying to create space. Show continues to dominate with a clothesline; he hits a huge vertical suplex. The advantage of Show’s size is that mundane moves look more devastating, like that simple vertical suplex. Del Rio avoids an avalanche but Show cushions his charge and rebounds with another clothesline. He tries another corner whip but meets boots; Del Rio locks in a sleeper hold. Show drops to one knee. Another thing Big Show does well is his ability to turn his dome bright pink, while in sleeper-type holds. Show powers up and flicks Del Rio off his back and onto the floor; he sells the sleeper by nearly vomiting over the rope and then heads out after him. He squashes Del Rio against the ring barricade and they battle out there. Big Show, breaks the count a few times, and chops Alberto on the floor. Del Rio finally sidesteps a charge and hits a step-up enziguri. Back in the ring, Alberto works Show over with running kicks to keep him at bay; he continues to wear Show down and applies a front facelock. Show back suplexes himself free and then they trade blows from their knees; Del Rio manages to win that battle and returns to the facelock. Show shoves him off and clotheslines him to the floor. Back from commercial, Alberto has moved to a single leglock, which makes more sense from a psychology standpoint. Show scissorses him with his leg to break. A goozle is countered into a DDT for two (the kickout sends Del Rio all of the way to the floor). Show collapses into the corner; Del Rio tries another enziguri but Show clocks him with the WMD for three. 2.5/10 Wow, Big Show pins the WWE Champion clean. I felt this match was rather boring; I’m sure people will bitch of the clean pinfall victory. I don’t think it hurts Del Rio much, keeping Show strong, since Show has dominated the invincible Mark Henry for the bulk of their brief feud.
CM Punk comes out post-match and heads over to the kayoed Alberto Del Rio with a mic and water bottle. He sits cross-legged next to him and asks if he can hear him; he douses him with water, waking him up. Punk coerces him into agreeing to the WWE title match at Survivor Series via Anaconda Vise. Punk grabs the mic to announce it to the fans, but the pipe bomb went off, so he has to grab another one to let the fans know that Del Rio, in fact, said “yes”. “I’ll see you at Survivor Series, amigo.” 3/10 Punk gets his match; clever by the resourceful Punk.
Fozzie the Bear and Gonzo are in the back; Gonzo feels it’s easy to become WWE Champion. They’re interrupted by Vickie Guerrero, Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler. Fozzie tries to smooth things over but Swagger and Ziggler stretch his arms out and wrap them around his mouth to shut him up. Wakka, wakka, wakka, bitch!
Clips from the Muppet’s new, The Muppets, movie are shown.
Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero): Animal (the Muppet, not the Raw GM’s brother) is the special guest timekeeper. Swagger tosses Santino down, but he back rolls back up and over celebrates, so Swagger clotheslines him. He lays in shots and pounds down on him; he does pushups on Marella’s back. Swagger hits a corner clothesline but runs into a boot on the second attempt; Swagger maintains control with a punch. Santino comes back with the split-legged hiptoss and Salute head-butt, for a nearfall. Swagger regains his composure and powers him into the ankle lock; Marella kicks him off and Swagger runs into the top rope neck first. Suddenly, Beaker appears at ringside and gives Santino the Erlenmeyer flash that contains the drink that Bunsen was preparing earlier. He drinks it, but it’s gross, so he spits it all in Swagger’s face and schoolboys him for three. 5/10 Cute little match there with the Muppets helping him win; poor Swagger, victim of Santino the Muppet! At least they didn’t go the totally unrealistic route (I know a MUPPET gave it to him) of Santino powering up after finishing the drink, he just spit in the face and won off a fluke rollup.
Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero): Thank GOD they changed the slogan on Ryder’s shirt because I wanted to change the channel to Spike TV. Ryder’s hair is getting browner and browner. Ryder, a huge Ghostbusters fan (my personal favorite movie), leapfrogs into an arm drag. He gets another arm drag and a Ryder Roll for a nearfall; Dolph gets a breather via standing dropkick. Ziggler methodically pounds on Zack until he quickly fires up with clotheslines and a second-rope LI dropkick. Dolph rolls to the floor where Ryder wipes him with a pescado. Back from commercial, Ryder is laced in a chinlock; how you ask? Well, we never find out. Anyway, Ziggler, in control, drops an elbow to Zack’s back, for two. He hits a swinging neckbreaker and nips-up. Skills. Ziggler looks for the Zigzag but Dolph turns around and catches his legs (somehow) and catapults him into the top turnbuckle, perhaps the ringpost, the angle is poor. That sequence looked a little too contrived for me. Ziggler sells the turnbuckle shot like he bounced off a brick wall. They exchange blows and Ryder hits a flapjack; a running forearm sets up the Broski Boot in the corner, for two. Ziggler connects with a jawjacker but charges in the corner and meets a pair of Broski knees. The referee counts three, despite Ziggler’s foot on the ropes, the bell rings, though. Ryder thinks he’s won but the referee waives off the bell. Ryder is frustrated but it does not cost him (yet). Ziggler runs around the ring with Ryder chasing, he reenters right by Vickie, so she can grab Zack’s ankle, while he distracts the referee then catch Ryder reentering with a boot. Classic heel stuff here. Dolph looks for the Zigzag… but Ryder has the wherewithal to grab the ropes! ROUGH RYDER! Ryder gets THREE on Ziggler again! 7.5/10 Entertaining match, the ending was a surprise, since everything pointed to a Ziggler clean win, there; Ryder is advancing up the card, slowly but steadily, since that would normally defeat the lower midcard Ryder.
We recap the Triple H/Kevin Nash storyline last week; they officially announce the “resigning” of Kevin Nash. After that, we move onto Michael Cole, standing on the table, and announces that Jim Ross isn’t there because he suffers from “Inflammatory Bowel Disease”. He runs through a series of bowel obstructions as symptoms; Cole says JR should wear a diaper when he faces him. Cole gets in a Depends joke. I guess they are bait-and-switching the JR/Cole match. Whatever, it’s not like they promised Randy Savage versus Ricky Steamboat or anything; they just hyped it an awful lot not to have it. We move up to Statler and Waldorf who insult Cole. Elsewhere, in the back Miss Piggy is feeling up John Morrison’s six-pack. She wants to ask him out for dinner but he bait-and-switches her with Hornswoggle. He shows off his Muppets tattoo he got for the occasion and sneaks in a kiss; she gives him the Piggy Chop, Kermit the Frog appears and asks if he is okay but Horny seems to like it. Cody Rhodes shows up and paper bags Kermit, the eyeholes are cleverly on the top of the bag. 6.5/10 A huge bunch of stuff was squeezed onto the show there; resigning of Nash, the JR/Cole bait-and-switch and a bunch more cutesy stuff with the Muppets.
John Cena vs. The Miz: WrestleMania XXVII main event rematch from the very city that it occurred (full review, click here). Miz is out solo. Before the match, Statler tells Waldorf that he can’t see him; Waldorf tells him that he can’t see anything anyway, they get a few shots on Miz, and then Statler passes out from over-taunting. They lock up and Cena tosses Miz into the corner and hits the release fisherman’s suplex. Cena gets two off a dropkick. He misses a corner charge and Miz levels him with a running boot. Miz takes over with stomps and punches a downed Cena; running seated boo nets a two. Miz applies a chinlock allowing the fans to amuse themselves with dueling Cena chants. He maintains control with more running boots; Miz connects with the Vintage Clothesline followed by a double axe handle from the top and reapplies the chinlock. Cena tosses him off and comes back with the usual; a pair of shoulderblocks, Proto-bomb and Five-Knuckle Shuffle. The AA is countered into a reverse DDT for two. He tries the running boot but Cena nearly catches him in the STF; Miz comes back with the Vintage Neckbreaker for a nearfall. Miz tries the Skull-Crushing Finale but Cena pushes him off and upends Miz with a clothesline, for two. Cena heads to the top but Miz cuts it off; they battle, Cena wins, and hits the Cena Slice but only gets two. Cena tries the AA again but Miz counters, this time he utilized the Dangerous DDT, spiking Cena for two. Miz gets backdropped to the floor and Cena tosses him into the ring barricade. Someone dressed as Ghost Face from Scream attacks Cena from the crowd; Miz takes advantage and tries another Skull-Crushing Finale but Cena turns it into an STF for the tap out. Post-match Ghost Face runs back in so Cena nails the Attitude Adjustment and pulls the mask off to reveal R-Truth. Truth was the killer? 4/10 Match was okay with a few hot sequences; Cena taking out both members of Awesome Truth handily was a bit painful though.
OVERALL 6/10 If you don’t like the Muppets or a slightly blithe show, you are going to shit all over this; I for one, enjoyed it. There were some entertaining matches interwoven throughout the show. I guess it’s not easy being green.