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From the Echo Arena in Liverpool, England
Commentators: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: Alberto Del Rio… World Champion: Mark Henry… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Dolph Ziggler… Tag Team Champions: Air Boom… Diva’s Champion: Beth Phoenix
John Cena opens the show to a decent amount of boos. You know it’s a show from England because the WWE dusts off the old taxi cab and phone booth. I’m sure the English have cellphones nowadays and don’t require phone booths anymore? Cena pimps WrestleMania tickets and says The Rock… is not going to be there tonight but they still are going to be a tag team. He mentions next week’s Raw where Rocky is returning but he feels we should discuss tonight. This is the first time Raw is in Liverpool. Awesome Truth interrupts. Miz says “really” a lot and promises Cena anguish at Survivor Series; he boasts about pinning Cena at WrestleMania XXVII (full review, click here). Miz then says, in their tag match tonight, they will leave an impression that Cena will never forget. Nice touch by the WWE keeping the upside down WWE logo mic for him. R-Truth says he wants the Little Jimmys to laugh at him now because afterwards no one will be laughing again. Cena makes Internet meme jokes and says his tag partner is… Awesome Truth cut him off and head into the ring. Zack Ryder runs out to Cena’s aide. Miz gets tossed to the floor as Truth takes a Rough Ryder. 3/10 Usual stuff from the usual suspects; Truth is not as crazy as he usually is which hurts the score a little. Ryder in the main event should be fun as he finally gets his Raw main event.
John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero): Michael Cole attempts to sing Yellow Submarine since Liverpool is the birthplace of the Beatles; their best song is Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) from their best album Rubber Soul in my humble opinion. This should be a good match; the commentators discuss his current three month losing streak, Morrison says it’s because he’s not in the right place spiritually. Let the Melina jokes rain down! Ziggler scores with a Russian leg sweep and applies a chinlock; Morrison reverses it, so Ziggler head scissors himself free, Morrison nips-up and out. He takes Dolph down with another headlock; Ziggler tries to whip him but Morrison slides through and flapjacks him, for a one count. He applies a chinlock and Ziggler frees himself with a jawjacker. Ziggler works him over with elbow drops until Morrison flips out of a back suplex and hits a Pelé kick. Dolph falls to the floor; Morrison looks to fly, Ziggler realizes it, and he quickly reenters the ring and flattens Morrison with a clothesline. Back from break, Ziggler is elbowing the back of Morrison’s head and applies an armbar. He fights free but Ziggler illegally uses the hair to maintain control; he mashes his knee into the back of Morrison’s neck and drops an elbow onto it. He measures Morrison with a standing dropkick and gets two; a neckbreaker and a lot of showboating follows. Jerry Lawler even notes the grandstanding is getting a little excessive. Morrison eventually fires up and peppers Ziggler in the corner but runs into a reverse elbow; Dolph, looks like he wanted to apply a Crippler Crossface, realizes what he was doing, and segues into a standard armbar. Morrison gets a nearfall off a schoolboy and then eats a clothesline; Dolph back into the chinlock. Ziggler tries another neckbreaker but Morrison pushes him off, catches him in a slingshot, and catapults him into the turnbuckles. Morrison hits some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl DDT for two. Morrison misses Starship Pain but lands on his feet; Ziggler sunset flips him for two, Morrison rolls through but misses the Shining Wizard, Dolph gets another nearfall. Ziggler surprises Morrison with a Fameasser for two. He tries for the Zigzag but Morrison grabs the ropes and hits the Flying Chuck; Vickie distracts referee Justin King, preventing a pinfall. Ziggler tries another rollup, for two, but Morrison reverse crucifixes into a three count! 8/10 Bland match before the commercial but once they hit the last five minutes the match really kicked into overdrive. Morrison’s losing streak is over and it was in a great match to, perhaps his “punishment” is over.
Mason Ryan vs. JTG: Poor JTG, already in the ring; to add more insult to jobbery, a Mason Ryan video package is shown pre-match as well. Ryan tosses JTG around and clobbers him with a shoulder tackle. He misses a charge in the corner and JTG tries a Mug Shot but Ryan pushes him off and levels him with a clothesline. He hoists him up in a Canadian Backbreaker and then tosses him into the corner for the Batista Shoulderblocks; the dominance continues, JTG tries to fight back but eats a big boot and a press slam. Ryan applies a full nelson and wrenches JTG in it before dropping him with a full nelson slam for the pinfall. 2/10 Squash match to get Ryan over.
Clips from WrestleMania tickets going on sale are shown. Elsewhere, the Bella Twins are in the back again; Zack Ryder shows up and is ready for his Raw main event… again. When they return from commercial, Michael Cole says the Challenge is off again, for silly heelish reasons, and makes fun of Jim Ross.
Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez): With Evan Bourne serving a wellness suspension, look for Kofi to be jobbing in singles matches in the upcoming month. Del Rio boots him but Kingston comes back with a back leg sweep; he dropkicks Alberto to the floor. He tries a topé but Del Rio sidesteps and Kofi splats. He kicks Kofi on the floor and tosses him back into the ring for two; he aggressively works over the arm and applies an armbar. Del Rio props Kofi in the corner but he still has the wherewithal to pendulum kick him; Kofi to the top with the frog-crossbody for two. Kingston misses Trouble in Paradise; Del Rio tosses him into the corner, posting his arm, and then hits the Backstabber arm breaker. The cross-arm breaker immediately follows and gets the submission. Post-match, Del Rio reapplies the cross-arm breaker until CM Punk strolls out… 3.5/10 This match was exactly what Del Rio needed, a quick decisive victory over a popular and decent midcarder; mission accomplished.
We return from commercial with Alberto Del Rio getting in CM Punk’s face in the ring; he did not think Punk had the cojones to appear in the ring with him. Del Rio is upset in the way that Punk forced him into the title match; he calls the fans jokes, ugly and that no one cares about them… just like Punk. Alberto says that John Laurinaitis told him that he can ask Punk to cancel the title match and if he refuses he is going to get the match canceled via force. Punk recounts how Del Rio won the title from him (twice); he says that he used slimy and underhanded means to force Del Rio into the title match, the same way that he won the title. Del Rio demands respect. Punk calls him one-dimensional on the microphone. Burn. He mocks the destiny speeches and says the fans at home fast forward their DVRs when Alberto talks… and miss nothing important. Punk vows to make the WWE Championship interesting again; Del Rio retorts with “I’m the best in the world” and then asks if he is cancelling the Survivor Series match again. Punk thinks about it… forever, and says no. Del Rio nails him from behind (I think); he tries the cross-arm breaker but Punk reverses into the Anaconda Vise. Ricardo Rodriguez gets involved, saving his employer, but takes a Go2Sleep. 5.5/10 That promo was going nowhere fast but Punk single-handedly saved it. It was like the opening match; the beginning was bland but hit its stride at the end.
Highlights from the Muppets from last week are shown.
Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero): Swagger says, with prerecorded comments, he is upset losing to a Muppet last week. Swagger outwrestles Santino in the outset; Marella gets in his face and eats a right hand, knocking him down. Swagger misses a clothesline in the corner and Marella punches away; he tries a tip-over in the corner but Swagger catches him and powerslams him. He hits a backdrop suplex and stands on his throat; he applies a double armlock. Michael Cole goes on a Jim Ross rant and ends with a “soo-iee” hog call, to which Jerry Lawler tells him to cut it out, lest calling Vickie Guerrero over; Cole breaks out legit laughing hysterically on air. Swagger misses a slingshot legdrop; Marella tries to comeback with the split legged hiptoss but Swagger counters into a belly-to-belly suplex. Swagger poses Santino’s shoulder and applies the ankle lock for the tap out. 3/10 Revenge squash for Swagger here; this gets him back on the winning track. The best part of the match was Michael Cole in hysterics.
Jerry Lawler is in the ring to introduce Kelly Kelly, who is the cover girl for this month’s issue of Maxim magazine. Kelly’s all “Wow, I was a kid when I entered the WWE but I’m all grown up now”. Beth Phoenix and Natalya predictably interrupt; they tease her for being a Barbie doll and mock an “I’m thanking God” speech. They mention her boyfriend “Ken” and little sister “Skipper”. Kelly complains about them interrupting her; she gets in a “cover of National Geographic” joke. Beth threatens to make her cry but Alicia Fox and Eve Torres come to her aid and chase the Sisters of Salvation away. Eve and Alicia unveil the huge cover of Maxim magazine… and attack Kelly… well no, they didn’t but it’d be cool if they did. 1.5/10
John Laurinaitis (who is there) re-reintroduces Kevin Nash and he heads to the ring. He thanks Mr. Laurinaitis for resigning him; back in 1995, Triple H entered the WWE, in slacks and a sport coat, and in hindsight he should have buried him then but Shawn Michaels liked him so Nash let him into their Kliq. HHH eventually won him over and was honored to be at his wedding. Fast-forward to the 2011 Royal Rumble (full review, click here) where Diesel got the biggest pop of the night. Nash called HHH and asked to get the “band back together” to which he got no answer. Nash felt betrayed. He says he is above a silly “Legend’s contract” and then attacked HHH with his own sledgehammer and says that’s how you play the game. 6/10 Good, sensible, and to the point promo by someone who know how to get a point across.
In the back, butt kisser extraordinaire David Otunga asks John Laurinaitis why isn’t (re)debuting Brodus Clay tonight. Laurinaitis mocks the sophistication of Liverpool until CM Punk turns up. He assures the GM that the match at Survivor Series will happen. Otunga calls him a gas station attendant; Punk laughs at the corniness of the joke and then asks him if he’d like regular (fist) or unleaded (fist) and nails him. Alberto Del Rio attacks Punk from behind and tosses him through a catering table. Referees separate them.
John Cena & Zack Ryder vs. Awesome Truth: Cena starts off with Truth and shoulderblocks him; Miz tags in and Cena single-legs him down. He pounds away in the corner and hits a pair of running lariats. Fans chant “we want Ryder”; Miz runs away before Cena can tag. Truth comes in and he runs away too but demands Ryder in the ring? That was an odd little segment. Truth tries to goad Cena into a test of strength but tags in Ryder. Truth shoulderblocks Ryder but walks into a flapjack; he tosses Truth to the floor, taking a nasty fall on his back, and we head to break. We back with Ryder arm dragging the Miz; he hits a second-rope missile dropkick. Cena returns and they double hiptoss Miz; he manages to comeback quickly and the Awesome Truth double shoulderblock Cena. Truth applies a chinlock. They trap him in their corner, work him over, and then Truth hits a sit-out gourdbuster. Miz rakes Cena’s face against the ropes; Truth returns and applies another wear down hold. Cena almost comes back but Truth cuts him off. A double team backfires and Ryder gets the hot tag. He knocks both Truth and Miz into opposite corners. Cena hops into the ring, wearing Ryder’s sunglasses, DOUBLE FIST PUMP! Woo woo woo. Double Broski Boots! Miz avoids the Rough Ryder and Truth nails him from the apron; they hit a double gutbuster for two. Truth applies a chinlock; Ryder fires back but misses a dropkick. Awesome Truth works Ryder over with a double clothesline off the top rope. Miz stamps on Ryder as the fans amuse themselves with dueling Cena chants. Miz with a front chancery and Ryder nearly makes a tag… inside cradle gets two for Ryder. Miz comes back with the Vintage Clothesline. They hit a double team boot and Truth continues the punishment with… another chinlock. Ryder breaks free and we get a double clothesline. Hot tag to Cena and he hits shoulderblocks and the Proto-bomb to Miz… and Truth; Cena calls Ryder in for Double Five-Knuckle Shuffle. Truth and Ryder take each other out of the equation. Miz avoids the AA with a running boot and gets THREE? Truth was holding Cena’s leg down à la Bobby Heenan. Post-match, Cena is shocked as Awesome Truth gloat in the aisle. 3/10 I know Awesome Truth needed a win there to at least give the illusion that they can be competitive at Survivor Series. The match was boring and had lots of chinlocks though. Ryder gets his main event, in a losing cause; luckily he did not take the pin.
OVERALL 4/10 As usual the poor Brits get a mail-it-in show; it was kinda crappy actually, felt like they were just dying to get to next week. . There was one good match between Morrison and Ziggler, everything else was a squash or foregone conclusion match. The only other noteworthy thing tonight was that Kevin Nash explained his recent actions against Triple H. Nothing special this week.