Live from the Giant Center in Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler & Booker T
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Mark Henry… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Dolph Ziggler… Tag Team Champions: Air Boom… Diva’s Champion: Beth Phoenix
Here comes the new WWE Champion CM Punk! I’ll admit I’m surprised as well; he recounts a “what do want to be when you grow up” story. Some said policeman, astronaut, even Teen Wolf, but he replied with “professional wrestler” NOT “sports entertainer”. Punk says it was huge to win the WWE title at MSG; he also did it on his terms, not as a policeman or astronaut (although Teen Wolf would be pretty cool); the little game of WWE title hot potato is over, the belt says with him. He says it’s a fact that this is the new face of the WWE, he sits down, and says that he is going to bring a “little air of danger” to Raw. Punk wonders where the hell his WWE ice cream bars are… he’s not giving up on that one. He also wants to get the interim GM tag off of John Laurinaitis. Speaking of Mr. Charisma, here he comes, he does not want to be confrontational, and congratulates him. He wonders why Punk doesn’t like him. Fans chant “you suck” to which Punk acknowledges. He wants Laurinaitis out as GM, and explains, that Mr. McMahon may be a “greedy, moneygrubbing, soulless bastard”, but he’ll tell that to your face; Laurinaitis is a typical middle management person, like Bill Lumbergh… without the comedy. Instant brownie points with me for referencing Office Space. He calls the WWE Universe, not fans, and says that Laurinaitis says it because it’s a buzzword and wants to make the corporate suits happy; he calls him a stooge. Laurinaitis corrects him… he’s upper management; he says, that just because he doesn’t tattoo his entire body and pierce himself, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a wild side, he can be just as dynamic as Punk. He (tries to) prove it and gives Alberto Del Rio his, contractually obligated, WWE title rematch next week on Raw. Punk laughs it off and says why not tonight? Tonight, Punk will battle Dolph Ziggler in a title for title match tonight. Punk says it is not creative or innovative, but stupid; proving Punk’s point, the “WWE Universe” does not want Punk versus Ziggler, the fans chant “we want Ryder”, and Punk adds the fans want Ziggler versus Zack Ryder. Laurinaitis says Ryder is busy tonight with Alberto Del Rio. Punk finally agrees to the matches and wanders up the rant, towards Laurinaitis, and says someone, someday, will beat sense into him. 5.5/10 Punk versus Laurinaitis seems to be the direction the WWE wants to go; Punk wants radical new (entertaining) ideas; Laurinaitis wants the (bland) status quo. I hope this will usher in the new direction for the WWE that we thought was going to happen during the “Summer of Punk”.
Clips from the end of Survivor Series (after it went off the air) where The Rock it talking to the fans and they were chanting “we want Ryder”; Rocky gives Zack Ryder his support (and the rub of a lifetime).
Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez): If Ryder wins here… HUGE career boost; I’m not expecting it (yet). I like the slow build to Ryder the WWE is doing, creating wet anticipation, as opposed to the mistake the WWE made with John Cena, jamming him down everyone’s throat as soon as the fans responded to him, and therefore creating the divide amongst the fans; here everyone wants Ryder to be successful. Ryder steals the mic from Rodriguez and gives a “woo woo woo”. Ryder’s hair is dyed a bizarre color, it’s almost ginger. Alberto starts off hot and pounds him down; he immediately hits the Backstabber arm breaker. Del Rio with an armbar; Ryder tries to counter but Del Rio maintains control, back to the armbar. Ryder tosses him into the corner but meets a boot; Alberto off the second rope… right into a punch. Ryder starts his comeback with clotheslines and a flapjack. Del Rio reverses a corner whip but runs into knees. BROSKI BOOT! Del Rio counters the Rough Ryder and tosses Zack, shoulder first, into the bottom turnbuckle. Del Rio hits the step-up enziguri and the cross-arm breaker follows for the quick tap out. 4/10 Not bad; as mentioned earlier, this is fine conclusion, especially since Del Rio needs to be kept strong, since he just lost the title and has a rematch next week. Ryder anticipation continues to build, if they keep it like this, the fans will be RABID when the trigger is pulled and Zack will be extremely over.
Sheamus vs. Jack Swagger (w/Vickie Guerrero): They lock up and Swagger gets the early advantage; he pounds on Sheamus until he gets mad and then gets unloaded on. Swagger retreats to the floor in frustration and yells at referee Scott Armstrong about losing control of Sheamus. Swagger reenters, gets Sheamus down and misses a legdrop; Sheamus bodyslams him and hits a running seated knee. Sheamus pounds on him in the corner, the referee backs him off, allowing Swagger to take over with a falling clothesline. Swagger Bomb connects… for a one count. Jack decides to wear the hotheaded Sheamus down with a keylock; he tries to get to his feet, so Swagger maintains control with some kneelifts, and wears Sheamus with a double armlock. Sheamus tries to escape but Swagger powers him down; he gets up the second time and starts a comeback with Irish Hammers. Sheamus clubbers away and hits a powerslam, for two. He heads up top for the shoulder tackle but Swagger ducks, Sheamus cushions his landing via a ROLL THROUGH (impressive for a big guy), and tries the Brogue Kick but Swagger ducks that as well, and picks the leg for the ankle lock. He completes the ankle lock but Sheamus shoves him off and connects with the Brogue Kick for the pinfall. 3/10 This match (save for the nice counter-counter sequence towards the end) is, in my opinion, the reason that many people have soured on the WWE of late; I have seen this match a thousand times before, just plug in John Cena, Randy Orton or whoever is the top of the card guy, in this case Sheamus (who I like), and they do the exact same match, with every top midcard heel, on Raw (or SmackDown), same comeback, same finishing sequence that you can call a mile away; it’s this uncreative in-ring nature, that allows me, the viewer, to call the match, almost move for move, which is bad… why would I buy a pay-per-view (especially in this economy) if I know what is (most likely) going to happen.
Here’s Big Daddy Cool, Kevin Nash at the top of the ramp; I don’t mind him using the nWo theme, since I enjoy hearing it. Nash, who was in the back for Survivor Series, talks about his history at MSG, including his first WWE title win against Bob Backlund… in eight seconds. He references the “Curtain Call” (although not by name), which I was in attendance for, where he, Scott Hall, Triple H and Shawn Michaels, put their friendship ahead of the business; but when he returned to the WWE (more recently) he didn’t have a friend, he had a boss. He and HHH should have faced John Cena and The Rock, in the main event, but Hunter was taken out with his own sledgehammer, by him. Survivor Series may be over, but the lone survivor of the prior mentioned group, stands before us now. 4.5/10 Short sweet Nash promo to keep him relevant while Triple H’s “injuries” heal.
Cody Rhodes is in the ring, in WHITE ring gear, I like it, it is rather “dashing” on him. He mentions his self-loathing about being disfigured left him vulnerable to predators, like Randy Orton. Now, the constraints have been removed, referencing a rabid dog without his muzzle, he is now unmasked and unbeatable (and unrepentant) he laughs manically until Santino Marella’s music interrupts…
Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes: The white trunks, trimmed in black, make Cody look a lot less generic, he’s added kneepads as well (black). Santino goes behind so Cody heads to the ropes to break; Marella tries to pick the leg, but Cody blocks and pounds him down. Booker T is very vocal, in his commentary, about his disgust with Rhodes; he tries a Russian leg sweep, too close to the ropes, so Santino is able to grab them to counter. I’ve seen that happen to the Honky Tonk Man a hundred times. Marella tries the Cobra, but Rhodes isn’t playing around tonight, and immediately hits the Cross Rhodes for three. Post-match, Cody heads to the announce table to get into Booker’s face about the disparaging remarks and then splashes a bottle of water all over him. 5/10 Good, fast squash, over the über popular Santino, to continue to build Rhodes’ new attitude; the beginning of a Booker comeback to the ring is teased here.
Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero are with Josh Matthews; he mentions the two matches, to which Ziggler corrects him, two victories, despite being the first person eliminated in the traditional Survivor match, he still was on the winning team. Dolph says he does not want to be a showoff but he’s the new face of the WWE.
CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/Vickie Guerrero): If this match is here, then I guess we have a MAIN EVENT PROMO tonight. Does Ziggler have “#Heel” on the back of his trunks? Awesome. They fight over a wastelock and Punk switches into a side headlock; Ziggler counters into a head scissors, Punk rolls him over, and applies a front facelock. Ziggler gets up and pushes Punk into the corner, forcing a break, and then controlling with a side headlock takeover. Nice chain wrestling here. Punk slowly reverses the headlock into his own headlock. Dolph fires him off but gets floored, with a little extra mustard; they run the ropes and trade leapfrogs and dropdowns until Ziggler retreats to the floor for a breather with Vickie. OLD SCHOOL. Punk catches Dolph with kicks upon reentry but then Ziggler hits a neckbreaker to take over. Ziggler hits some short elbows to the face and punches Punk; he tries a running boot to comeback, but Ziggler forces him down and drops elbows to the back. He applies a chinlock. Punk quickly fires back and this the ropes… right into a kneelift. Ziggler slows the match down with punches and kicks; he tries a second neckbreaker, which rarely works, two signature moves, Punk counters with a backslide for two; Dolph immediately beats him to his feet and clotheslines him. Ziggler applies a Crippler Crossface (not mentioned by name) and Punk briskly counters into a backdrop suplex. Vickie tries to distract Punk by hopping onto the apron and blowing a kiss; he no-sells that and pounds on Dolph. Punk looks for the running knee in the corner but Ziggler moves and tumbles to the floor; Ziggler does a handstand in the ring to taunt Punk. Back from commercial, Dolph has a reverse chinlock applied; Punk punches his way back again and they trade punches and kicks, Punk wins that battle, and hits a leg lariat. He quickly plants Dolph with a swinging neckbreaker for two. Punk tries the running knee in the corner again but this time Dolph gets his boot up… Punk stops short and grabs it and tries the Go2Sleep but Ziggler shifts his weight in to the SLEEPER HOLD. Punk switches and gets him in the fireman’s carry again but Ziggler scurries down his back into a cradle… with both feet on the second rope. Referee Chad Patton catches him though and while they are arguing, Punk rolls him up, grabbing the ropes as well, for two; Patton questions Punk as well. Little tit-for-tat there; Punk misses a roundhouse kick and Ziggler tries the sleeper again. Punk makes the ropes and elbows Ziggler in to the corner. Punk finally hits the running knee/bulldog corner combo, for a nearfall. He slams Ziggler and heads up top, Ziggler rolls away to avoid the Macho Man Elbow, and catches Punk with a RIDICULOUS dropkick… for a close nearfall. If ever there was a hot nearfall off a dropkick, there it was. Dolph looks for a superplex but Punk knocks him off and hits the Macho Man Elbow (it wasn’t pretty but I always appreciate the tribute) for two. Punk goes for the GTS again, but yet again, Ziggler counters, this time with a unique inverted powerslam. He gets another nearfall; Dolph stamps the crap out of Punk and then loses his patience with the referee, nearly getting disqualified. Ziggler tries the Fameasser but Punk semi-spinebusters him. That was a slight botch as he was probably supposed to catch him in the GTS; Punk, proves that by immediately hitting the Go2Sleep, for the exciting pinfall. 9/10 Outstanding match, they really should have closed the show with this match; I like the story these two told in the ring. Punk is changing the WWE, at least in-ring for his matches as he and Ziggler (another throwback wrestler) did some nice NWA-esque chain wrestling in the outset of the match. The rest of the match ain’t to shabby as well. Ending botch aside (which is excusable since they were BUSTING ASS the entire match) this was a spectacular match.
A weird mirror shattering, burning mask, vignette signifying the return of Kane, is shown. Speaking of guys Mark Henry took out, Big Show comes out, and says he proved he is stronger, tougher and better than Henry. He also proved giants can fly; he says Mark took the cheap way out, kicking him in the jimmy. Show says Henry may still be the champion, but he got carted out, post-match; he says that when Henry recovers, he has a WMD waiting for him. In the back, Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox amuse themselves playing WWE ’12; Beth Phoenix and Natalya, of course, come in, pimp the game and tease them about crying when they tap out. When they return they actually show Michael Cole looking at Twitter.
Kofi Kingston vs. Wade Barrett: Barrett professes his World title aspirations in pre-recorded comments; Team Barrett winning the Survivor match was a good inclination for Barrett fans. Barrett roughs Kingston up and then kicks the snot out of him in the corner; he hits a snap-suplex for two. Barrett misses a charge in the corner and Kofi fires up with dropkicks. Wade looks to cut him off with the Black Hole Slam but Kingston quickly shifts his weight into a sunset flip, for a nearfall. Barrett rights the ship with a clothesline. He looks for Wasteland but gets interrupted by Randy Orton’s music (and Orton himself). Kofi tries to kick his way back but Barrett smartly slides to the floor to avoid Trouble in Paradise. Back from break, Barrett controls with a double chinlock; during the break Barrett tripped Kingston on the apron, to being us to where we are now. Orton has taken a seat at ringside. Kingston fires back but runs right into the Black Hole Slam, for two; he REALLY whiplashed him with that move. Barrett continues the punishment, all the while glancing at Orton on the floor. He traps him in the ropes and boots him onto the apron; Barrett drags him into the ring for a nearfall. I just noticed that Jerry Lawler has said next to nothing this entire show; it appears as if he has laryngitis, I guess this is why Booker T is here. Kingston tries to fight back but Barrett boots him down again and then punches on his face. He stretches Kofi out with a bow-and-arrow lock. Kofi flips out of a back suplex and then sidesteps Barrett to the floor; he follows him out with a topé. Back in the ring, Kofi gets a nearfall, and then heads to the top but Barrett cuts it off; he meets him atop the ropes and teases a Super Wasteland. Kingston saves himself with a head-butt, sending Wade crashing to the mat, and then drops a frog-crossbody… for two. Kofi kicks Barrett (with his shin) right in the face and then lands the Boom Drop; he preps for the Trouble in Paradise but Barrett hangs in the corner, forcing Kingston to alter his approach, and miss a Stinger Splash; Barrett charges but Kingston pendulum kicks him. Kofi looks for a springboard move but Barrett smartly kicks the ropes, causing Kingston to crash and burn. WASTELAND! …for three. Post-match, Barrett rubs the victory in Orton’s face as he is leaving; Randy stops… and quickly turns to Barrett and glares at him, Wade even SOLD the quick-turn and glare, Orton smiles and leaves. 7/10 Poor Kofi, his partner gets busted and suspended, and he gets to suffer and job away. Very good match here, despite being a foregone conclusion match; one of the better Kingston singles matches I’ve seen in a while, because his was kept in control nicely by Barrett. I also like the Barrett/Orton storyline with Wade trying to eliminate all threats en route to “his” World title.
John Cena comes out, to address the conclusion of the Survivor Series main event, where The Rock planted him with a Rock Bottom… and pimp WrestleMania XXVIII. Fans in PA don’t seem to cotton very well to Cena here. He discusses the history from last night’s Survivor Series, pimps Zack Ryder’s Twitter and congratulates CM Punk on his title win. He says that he and Rocky functioned well as a team; he discusses the fans’ emotions for their respective entrance pops. Post-match, he and the Rock exchanged words and Cena found himself “on the business end of a Rock Bottom”. Fans chant “boots to asses” and he says that the Rock indeed did that and begins to promote WrestleMania, but is interrupted by Awesome Truth. Miz says “really” a lot. Shocking. He says that Cena’s ego is so great that he won’t admit that the Rock stood him up; Miz mentions the “don’t tag Cena” chants from MSG last night. He throws the “you can’t see me” line back in his face, saying that no one actually wanted to see him. R-Truth tries to talk but get vociferously “what’ed”. Truth eloquently explains WrestleMania, “the Rock puttin’ ‘boots to asses’, from the roota to the toota, up your fruity booty… all over Miami.” I couldn’t have put it any better myself. Cena gets angry with them and threatens to knock the makeup off of Miz and melt Truth’s gold teeth down and give them to Mr. T. Cena says two things happened last night, the Rock can still go in the ring (therefore BUY WRESTLEMANIA!) and no one cares about Awesome Truth. Cena buries them and then tries to get them to turn on each other by implying that Miz thinks that Truth is a wacked out talentless wrestler who is riding his coattails and that Truth thinks Miz is an arrogant D-Lister on a crappy reality show. He ends with “don’t boo me… boo yourselves” and leaves. Awesome Truth begins to argue in the ring; well, Truth believes Cena and Miz tries to explain that Cena is playing them. Miz then does tell him that people pay to see him; then it disintegrates in to a shoving match. Miz gets pushed on his ass and then convinces Truth to go after Cena with him… only to TURN ON HIM at the top of the stage with a Skull-Crushing Finale! 3/10 The entire promo sucked until the end where Miz turned on Truth; not sure how I feel about it… yet. I have to see where Miz (and Truth) go from here before I pass full judgment.
OVERALL 6/10 Eh, not sure on this episode yet; the early part of the show was getting dangerously close to crappy but once Punk and Ziggler hit the ring, the WRESTLING picked up dramatically in the last two in-ring segments. I still feel that Punk/Ziggler should have been the main event and relegated the Awesome Truth break-up, blatantly disguised as a WrestleMania XXVIII shill, should have been the first hour “main event”; I know the WWE wanted to end on a “shocking turn”, but it could be just as impactful, early in the show, where they can replay it a million times, leading into the WRESTLING match main event. The score is rather high, but that is for the entertainment I got from most of the wrestling on this show.