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Live from the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, PA
Commentators: Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler
Championship’s roll call: WWE Champion: CM Punk… World Champion: Daniel Bryan… Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes… United States Champion: Zack Ryder… Tag Team Champions: Air Boom… Diva’s Champion: Beth Phoenix
Whoa, check out those champions! Punk, Bryan and Zack Ryder… the Internet must’ve exploded yesterday.
We get a drumroll and… CM Punk’s voice announces the winner of the TLC main event pay-per-view and gets some middle management insults on John Laurinaitis. To the chagrin of “ol’ clown shoes” Laurinaitis and bodies flying everywhere, he managed to retain his WWE title; he says that the WWE title is a belt that people never thought he’s win, which brings him to Zack Ryder. He introduces Ryder the same way he introduced himself. Well, Zack Ryder “made it” so… I’m supposed to hate him now, right? Ryder fist pumps and Punk has saved the biggest title match, for last. Who won the World title match? Was it Mark Henry? Was it Big Show? Well… it was Big Show but THEN… Daniel Bryan cashed in his MitB contract. LOOK at the champions in that ring… hard to believe I’d ever see this. It’s like Vince McMahon himself called every IWC member and asked him or her, “What should I do?” Punk says if there is any city who would appreciate this scene, it’d be Philadelphia. A huge “ECW” chant breaks out; Punk recounts meeting Bryan, ten years ago, at the Murphy Rec Center, and now they’re world champions. He says that tonight isn’t about him but about the other two wrestlers in the ring; Ryder is over psyched. Bryan says people, like Michael Cole, said that he doesn’t even deserve to be in the WWE. The Miz appears on the stage, sans music, to interrupt the mutual admiration society; Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio join him and they head towards the ring. The good guys protect the ring and fend off the invaders. They huddle on the floor so Ryder somersault pescados onto Ziggler; Miz and Del Rio toss him into the steps and then run away with Punk and Bryan on their tails. John Laurinaitis meets them on the stage and says nothing of note and books the obvious six-man main event match… as a Christmas present to the WWE Universe; I guess all of the Jewish fans will have to wait for another match for Hanukkah. 8/10 Yeah, I’m happy that these three are champions; who would have thought that two of ROH’s guys would be world champions (three if you count Evan Bourne), goes to show that despite politics, if you are talented, the cream will indeed rise to the top. Self-promotion, Twitter, YouTube and having an über personality helps also.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett: Barrett has a nasty gash on his forehead, caused by a table last night, and has several sutures. Barrett gets the first blow in and pounds Orton down in the corner. Orton eventually comes back with a clothesline out of the corner; he gets some mounted ten-count punches but Barrett stunguns him off the buckle. Barrett hits the ropes but gets dropped by a dropkick and rolls to the floor. Randy joins him and the fight breaks out on the floor; Barrett puts the Viper down with a savate kick, then suplexes him ribs first onto the apron, and boots him in the head. Barrett breaks the count as the commercial break occurs; the match resumes with Orton charging in the corner and meeting a foot. Wade enmeshes him in the ropes and pounds away on him and then boots him back down to the floor; he works the back driving Orton into the apron back first; back in the ring, he ensnares a chinlock. Randy fights free and comes back with clotheslines and a short powerslam; he tries the Viper DDT but Barrett reverses into Wasteland but Orton counters that into the stretch backbreaker. This is what happens when two guys feud for a while, they begin to build chemistry together, which never dies, so they could have a match in 2013 and it’d still be good due to the familiarity with each other’s strengths, weaknesses and in-ring skill; this is (one of the reasons) why I enjoy an extended feud. Barrett smartly rolls to the apron, which is smart twofold, first (in kayfabe terms) it makes sense to roll to the apron to break offensive momentum, second, it sets up Orton’s Viper DDT without him having to go through the motions of wheeling him around the ring and into the ropes, which seems a bit over contrived for reality purposes. Orton hits the DDT and begins to uncoil… but Barrett BLATANTLY pokes him in the eye and draws a disqualification. Post-match, Barrett gets some revenge on the blinded Orton stamping on him and then hits the spinning Bossman Slam, finally nicknamed, Winds of Change; I like it. Barrett grabs a table and puts Orton through it via Wasteland. 7/10 As Jesse Ventura might say, that’s called winning the war, you may have lost the battle but winning the war, the big picture, is more important. The message has been sent to Orton that this feud is far from over; as stated earlier, I like extended feuds, helps build character and chemistry. Barrett retains his lost heat from TLC last night. The match wasn’t bad either despite the DQ ending, which is fine for network television.
The commentators switch gears to the Triple H/Kevin Nash match from the match last night; Nash was stretchered out and suffered nasal fracture and will be out at least six weeks.
Alicia Fox vs. Beth Phoenix: They are still advertising her crappy music on iTunes; with the exception of possibly Alex Wright, who would actually download (and pay for) that? Beth starts off with a side slam and attempts a slingshot suplex but Alicia slips over the back and falls on her ass. She hits a reverse DDT and flipping legdrop for three? Post-match, Fox grabs the mic and wishes everyone a “foxy holiday”. 0.5/10 Really? I’m hard on divas matches, possibly a little overcritical, but this was ridiculous; here was a SQUASH match for Alicia versus THE CHAMPION (and it was about thirty seconds long!). It would be similar to Rick Rude pinning Hulk Hogan (in 1987) in under a minute on Saturday Night’s Main Event. I’ve said this before, if the WWE doesn’t care about divas matches why should I?
Sheamus vs. Jinder Mahal: I thought Mahal was feuding with Ted Dibiase, now he’s messing with Sheamus? Granted he is losing, but he’s on television, haven’t seen Dibiase in a while (not on Superstars). Mahal has added a turban to his entrance gear and then insults Sheamus’ class and honor in his pre-match promo. Mahal aggressively pounds on Sheamus but he calls him on, fella. Sheamus drops his head for a backdrop so Mahal boots him, kicks his knee out, and basement dropkicks him down; Jinder USES THE KNEE with a leaping knee to the face for a one count. Mahal settles into a chinlock. Sheamus lasts in that for about fifteen seconds before he fires back with Irish Hammers. A short-clothesline out of the corner sees Sheamus head to the top; Mahal ducks, but Sheamus rolls through and hits the Irish Curse. He sends Mahal back down the card with the Celtic Cross. 3.5/10 Sheamus squash; since he’s in a holding pattern, probably until the Rumble, he’s going to run through all of the midcarders to get him his television exposure.
John Cena comes out to chitchat about getting chokeslammed by the returning masked Kane; his reaction is surprising, since they are in Philly, that it isn’t all boos. After his music subsides, though, the booing materializes. Cena has a SHOCKING announcement… some people don’t like him. It’s more shocking that the WWE acknowledges it. He says he is ready for The Rock at WrestleMania. He turns to a monster who apparently doesn’t like him either; a monster who wears a red mask, covers himself in fire and gets really uneasy around the holidays… and trips to the dentist. Cena wants to think he was in the wrong place, wrong time, but if not then he’s ready to face his fears; he says if they have business, then they should handle their business. He gets Mark Henry instead. Mark says that if it wasn’t for Kane, Cena would be in the Hall of Pain; Henry is not in a joking mood and is out to address, his injuries and why he lost the title then tells Cena to “hit the bricks”, because it’s his promo time. Kane comes out next with that huge mask on; he stalks Henry around the ring and then looks in at Cena and heads into the ring. He removes his helmet but Cena clotheslines him to the floor. Kane shrugs it off and tosses him over the announce table. He smothers Cena with a claw-like on the table, busting Cena’s lip, and then rips his t-shirt off and leaves with it. 4/10 I guess since Cena is penciled in to face the Rock at WrestleMania, there is no reason to put him in the title picture for now so he is going to feud with monsters leading to ‘Mania; granted the matches may not be good but it’s nice to have masked Kane back.
The Usos vs. Primo & Epico (w/Rosa Mendes): This may be the first time, since 1989, that there are two tag teams in the ring, BOTH with matching tights. The Usos start off with a nifty decapitation move on Primo; Jey tries to mount the buckles but Primo shoves him off and hits a second rope missile dropkick. The Colóns work Jey over in their corner with a series of boots and stomps. Primo SWEEPS the leg as Air Boom (with new t-shirts) watch on a monitor and see Primo suplex Epico into the ring right onto Jey Uso. TAG TEAMS! Epico applies a neck crank as Rosa blathers in Spanish at ringside and shakes her ass. Jey fires back but a drop-toehold cuts off a tag; he kicks Epico off and hits the church mouse tag. Jimmy Uso runs over Epico to ZERO reaction, because the Usos haven’t been on network television in any serious capacity in months. He knocks Primo off the apron, and hits a Bubba Bomb on Epico, the Samoan Avalanche follows, but Primo breaks up the pinfall. Jey charges Primo but he gets low-bridged and SPLATS on the floor; Jimmy wipes Primo with a superkick. Epico recovers and regains the Colóns lost heat from the PPV last night with a Backstabber. Post-match, Rosa and her rear end are very happy. 4.5/10 Not bad, a little sloppy, but it’s nice to have some tag teams back in action; I’ve said this before, here’s to hoping that it’s true… this time.
A silly Royal Rumble promo featuring Santino Marella as a swami is shown. Josh Matthews talks to Cody Rhodes who calls the previously shown promo is as ridiculous as Booker T retuning and winning the IC title. Santino appears and gives him a Christmas present; a wicker box with the Cobra in it. Hiss, hiss, hiss! BEWARE the Cobra…
Santino Marella vs. Cody Rhodes: Marella starts off with his shadow MMA and eats a forearm form Rhodes. He drops Santino with a Russian leg sweep and stomps away. Santino wakes up and hits the split-legged hiptoss. He tries the Cobra but gets immediately planted with the Alabama Slam for three. 2/10 Squash to put Cody on the show and to hear his music.
A lengthy Tribute to the Troops highlight package is shown.
In his office the Bella Twins argue about nonsense in front of John Laurinaitis and David Otunga; they aren’t happy with the treatment they received from Teddy Long… and then start arguing again. Laurinaitis assures them that management is watching. He gets a double kiss on the cheek and they leave and are replaced with a screaming Vickie Guerrero demanding a rematch. Hornswoggle appears behind her, in an elf costume, with mistletoe and kisses her on the lips drawing a Lucy Van Pelt/Snoopy reaction. POISON DOG LIPS!
They show highlights of Zack Ryder winning the US Title from TLC last night. We hear from Zack’s dad who is quite happy. The family resemblance is uncanny, especially the smirk. Elsewhere, Josh Matthews talks to a surprisingly smiley Big Show, I’m curious to see what his reaction is considering he lost the title to babyface buddy Daniel Bryan last night. Show says it took him nine years to get back to the top of the mountain but three seconds took it away from him; Show blames himself since he convinced Bryan to try that on Mark Henry several weeks ago. BACKFIRE! Show gives “the little guy” credit and says Bryan is living his dream. Matthews needles him about being “too nice” and having the shortest world title reign in history; Show stares a hole through him and insists he’s okay, twitching slightly. I smell a HEEL TURN… perhaps in the very next match.
A 01/02/12 promo interrupts Alberto Del Rio’s entrance in the upcoming match. The promo features the little girl more heavily, the boy says “I can’t help you anymore” and the screen says “prophetess”.
CM Punk, Daniel Bryan & Zack Ryder vs. The Miz, Dolph Ziggler & Alberto Del Rio (w/Vickie Guerrero): Well this match should rule; Ricardo Rodriguez is absent because of a table spot last night. All three of babyfaces come through the crowd for their entrances, which is awesome; who booked this show, Paul Heyman? Punk starts for Team Internet Wet Dream, and for the heels, it’s the Miz. Punk for some odd reason, which only makes sense to him, is wearing his orange spider web Halloween trunks tonight; he gets a shoulderblock and arm drag. Bryan tags in and we get a double leapfrog whip into a dropkick. Miz sneaks in a short knee and tags in Ziggler… who runs right into a drop-toehold; Bryan applies the surfboard shinbreaker and tags in Ryder. They whip Ziggler into a double hiptoss who Hennig-sells it all of the way to the floor. Del Rio runs over and gets sidestepped to the floor as well; Miz gets backdropped to the floor as well and I wonder what’s coming next. Bryan thinks topé but fakes them all out and Ryder wipes Miz and Del Rio with a somersault pescado; Bryan then wipes Ziggler with a leaping knee off of the apron. Ryder then sets up Miz and Del Rio so Punk can crossbody block them off the top rope. That sequence was smartly booked, as opposed to the usual Indy high spot fest, whereas the heels didn’t look stupid, just standing around waiting for the babyfaces to leap out onto them, it took deception to get them into position; as well as Ryder holding them for Punk, in lieu of them just standing dazed like at the end of a Mortal Kombat fight. FINISH HIM! Back from commercial, Bryan clotheslines former NXT mentor the Miz, I guess that makes him a really good mentor, since Bryan is a world champion now. Miz counters the buzzsaw kick with the Dangerous DDT, for a nearfall. Del Rio tags and the heels wear Bryan down in their corner. Alberto connects with a running basement dropkick for two and tags in Ziggler, I’m glad Ziggler kept the cerulean trunks; I mentioned this before, obnoxious heels need to wear obnoxious colors. Dolph settles into a chinlock allowing Michael Cole to vomit all over the babyfaces. Bryan frees himself but eats a clothesline; Miz returns and hits a running boot for a nearfall. Del Rio comes in, weathers a brief European uppercut comeback from Bryan, and drops him with a step-up enziguri; he works the arm with an armbar. Cole sells Big Show’s impending heel turn, claiming Show was “like a mentor” to Bryan, implying Bryan turned his back on him. Actually, it wasn’t implied, it was clearly stated so Jerry Lawler tries to play Devil’s advocate peacemaker. Ziggler blindly charges in the corner and eats a pretty nasty boot. Ryder gets the hot tag and lays waste to Dolph with running clotheslines and a facebuster; a splash in the corner sets up the Broski Boot. Ryder manages both Del Rio and Miz off the apron but it too slow on the follow up pinfall and merely gets two. Ziggler comes back with a standing dropkick. Miz tags and knees the crap out of Ryder. Cole calls Ryder a nerd for coloring pictures of WWE Superstars in his coloring books; the ironic thing is that Miz probably did the exact same thing. He lassos Ryder into a chinlock. Zack comes back and tries to leap into a tag but gets caught and rammed back into the heel corner. That spot has become so en vogue in recent tag matches. Del Rio tags in, tosses Ryder into the corner, but gets backdropped, over the ringpost, to the floor; Ryder tags in Punk who wipes the floor with the Miz. A springboard clothesline and swinging neckbreaker set up the corner knee/running bulldog move; he bodyslams Miz and heads to the top for the Macho Man Elbow Drop. OOOOH, YEAH! Punk applies the Anaconda Vice drawing Ziggler into the ring to break it up; Ryder recovers enough to pull Dolph to the floor and take him (and himself) out with a clothesline. Del Rio and Bryan both get tags and Bryan comes off the top with a missile dropkick; Miz runs in and boot Bryan so Punk puts him to sleep, via GTS. Nice sell by Miz. Del Rio knocks Punk to the floor and then posts Bryan’s shoulder. Alberto takes too long applying the cross-arm breaker so Bryan reverses into the LeBell Lock and taps Del Rio, to the EXTREME chagrin of Michael Cole. Post-match, the babyfaces celebrate with the crowd in the front row. 8.5/10 Great six-man tag to close a very different Raw tonight.
OVERALL 7.5/10 Was this show booked by Triple H, Vince McMahon and WWE Creative or Paul Heyman, Gabe Sapolsky and Cary Silkin? The show had its WWE moments but really felt like an intelligently booked Indy show. Bryan has his next challenger readymade and hopefully is willing to put him over, depending on the WWE’s plans; I don’t see Big Show as the kind of guy who cares about that kind of stuff; he appears pretty jolly and willing. The Cena/Kane stuff is nice in that it keeps John relevant without putting a title on him. Ziggler looks like he is ready for the next level and Miz and Del Rio, despite him becoming kind of boring recently, are in the main event as top heels ready to challenge Punk and will no doubt have good wrestling matches. Everything else looks pretty good headed into 2012, the Royal Rumble, and then quickly back on the Road to WrestleMania! Tempus fugit.